Comcastic service disconnection (soundcloud.com)

The story is that after ten minutes on the line attempting to cancel his Comcast service, this guy hit record on his phone and immortalised this example of ‘customer retention’.

That’s as much as I know of the story. I had to cajole myself into listening to it, the way I do with a lot of awkward comedy. I already know the beats. I know how awful it’s going to be. I know it’s going to make me feel trapped and panicked and ultimately depressed. This clip, while an excellent instance of the genre, was not out of the ordinary.

The Comcast guy is clearly being an arsehole. That’s not to say he is himself an arsehole, because clearly he is doing what he’s paid to do. It’s just that he’s paid to be an arsehole, so that people will keep paying money to Company A instead of Company B. In an ideal world where we all have the jobs we want and donuts fall from the sky and don’t cause diabetes, maybe then we could draw the conclusion that the guy is a genuine arsehole.

The people who invent these shitty jobs, who squeeze an extra buck out of making the world an angrier, shittier place. They’re the arseholes.

UPDATED: There are many things I don’t enjoy about the modern, “everyone is a self-facilitating media node” interpretation of the Internet. This is not one of them. It is lovely.